Observing The Observer
Despite turning a critical eye to the behaviour of the press at the World Cup, there was a notable omission in The Observer's round-up of this summer's shenanigans.
Apparently rather fancying the occupation of the moral high ground, The Observer's 'Best and Wurst' (get it?) of the World Cup included the following item:
'Worst behaviour: The press.
'24: Number of months the British press spent warning about English hooligan chavs looking to rip up Germany and disgrace English football. 24: Number of hours for first reports of journalist misconduct to come through, including: theft of a Fifa laptop from a press centre; wrestling eight police and two soldiers over press pass; naked drunk pundit up a lamppost; and an attempt to sell press accreditation on black market.'
Among those accredited for the piece was Jason Cowley, the editor of Observer Sports Monthly. Strange, then, that there was no special mention of Cowley's own brush with German authority even before the World Cup had begun.
According to a report in Private Eye two weeks ago, Cowley enlivened the tournament's opening match by 'calling press stewards, with whom he was enjoying a heated debate, "money-grabbing bastards". Enter the German police who dragged away and held him in a quiet room until he had calmed down and was safe to be let back into civilised society'.
Not so, claimed an outraged Cowley, as he made a guest appearance in the New Statesman.
'It was hot and I was late; let us just a say a robust discussion followed between me and a steward, who resembled a cross between Peter Schmeichel and an enraged Bart Simpson,' he announced. 'He was wearing a baseball cap, which I could not resist knocking from his head, as you would. There followed a little tussle and I was soon in the agreeable company of the German military.'
A chastened Private Eye has since apologised to readers for failing to make mention of the tussle or that Cowley knocked off the steward's cap, and for confusing the German police with the German military.
Will the next edition of The Observer Sports Monthly follow suit?
And There's More
Mediawatch is also intrigued by Cowley's decision to name the opening-night match between Germany and Costa Rica as his World Cup highlight.
'It was a lovely, warm evening - the intense heat and high humidity were still to come - and leaving the stadium in Munich, in the company of so many excited German fans, the wonderful sense of anticipation was overwhelming: the whole tournament was before us, the mood and atmosphere were terrific, there was so much to look forward to,' he wrote.
So that was the 'lovely, warm evening' which Cowley described as 'hot' in his explanation for his bother with the match stewards - a bit of bother which no doubt also contributed to the 'terrific' mood and atmosphere.
Given that, by his own account, he spent most of the evening in the company of the German military in a quiet room, Mediawatch wonders whether the heat proved too much for his memory as well.
The Good Times
Said The Sunday Times' profile of Zinedine Zidane in their World Cup final preview:
'The world's most complete footballer, but once had a reputation for sudden and shocking violence.'
Once?
And The Bad
While their sister paper may have hit the nail firmly on its head on Sunday morning, Mediawatch suspects The Times might currently be regretting not waiting for the end of extra time before compiling its players ratings.
After awarding Zidane an '8', with no mention of his dismissal, The Times informs us 'This is why Zidane is Zidane and Peter Crouch is Peter Crouch', and goes on to discuss the success of the Frenchman's calmly chipped penalty.
What they fail to point out is that the real reason Zidane is Zidane and Peter Crouch is Peter Crouch is that it would be virtually impossible (albeit highly comical) to see Peter Crouch try and nut Marco Materazzi in the chest.
Speaking Of Which
Said Vladimir Romanov in Scotland On Sunday:
'Saying that, I'd like to go back to Wayne Rooney's red card in the England v Portugal match. The English press accused Cristiano Ronaldo of provoking him. That's probably right, but only a weak player can be so easily provoked. The truly top players do not respond. Such great men of world football as Zidane, Figo and Henry are hard to provoke. The victims of provocations are only immature boys - which is still the best description of Rooney.'
Make Of This What You Will
From the official Everton website on Saturday:
'But Marco Materazzi, who was signed for Everton by Walter Smith for £2.8m from Perugia in 1998 before returning after one season in the Premiership, is set to be involved for Italy in the final against France in Berlin.
'Now 32, the central defender has revealed the Azzuri regard Zinedine Zidane as the biggest threat to Italy regaining the trophy they last won in 1982.
'They have formulated a gameplan to stop to former World player of the year.
'He said: "We have players that can mark Zidane, like Gattuso. There's no need to charge him up, otherwise he is capable of splitting the world in two."'
Or indeed, your chest.
Joke Of The Day
Motty: "Makelele is like an iron in midfield, just removing all the wrinkles."
Lawro: "Yeah, he's never pressed."
Boom, and indeed, boom.
Predictable Headlines Of The Day
'Italy Strike Gold As Zidane Sees Red' - The Guardian.
'World Champs - No Butts About It' - The Daily Record.
'ZZ Strop' - The Sun.
'ZZ Blows His Top' - Sky Sports.
'He's Blown His ZZ Top' - The Daily Mirror.
'Italy A Hit As ZZ Blows Top' - The Belfast Telegraph.
'Secrets Of Diana's Stunning Dresses' - The Daily Express.
Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm
'Sylvain Calzati added to French success over the weekend when he won the eighth stage of the Tour de France here yesterday' - The Daily Telegraph.
Bargain Of The Day
From the Preston North End official website:
'Hot, Hard And Sweaty - That's how Callum Davidson has described his first week back in training down at Springfields. Watch now from just £1.99'
Doing Your Homework
Said Mark Bright of Torsten Frings during the Third Place Play-Off:
"Yes, they missed him in the semi-final, but he paid the price for picking up the cards."
Or possibly for punching Argentinians, Mark.
Never Saw It Coming
'Roo And Ron Kiss And Make-Up' - The Daily Star On Sunday.
'Ron And Roo Re-United' - Sunday Express.
'Roonited: Warring Stars Agree To Bury The Hatchet' - The Sunday Mirror.
Seriously, who announces they want to quit their club on a Saturday night? It's just unfair.
Headline Of The Day
'It's
Zid Vicious' - The Sun. So good we stole it.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'It's Absolutely Fabio-Lous' - The Daily Record.
Quote Of The Day
'It is a pity. He really put on a show when he went down" - The quite mad Raymond Domenech on Marco Materazzi.
Runner-Up
"I want a group of lads who will die for each other and I hope that this group will do just that" - Swindon Town's new player-manager, Dennis Wise.
Rumour Of The Day
'Cristiano Ronaldo is prepared to go AWOL in a bid to force Alex Ferguson to sell him to Real Madrid. The Portuguese winker has vowed never to return to Manchester United. And he wants boss Fergie to agree his sale as soon as possible so he can link up with Real without having to show his face in Manchester' - The Sun.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters: Martin Cowen, Paul Webster, Rob Francis, Ian Halliwell and Andy Marczak. If you spot something that belongs on this page, mail theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
